Sire

By KnightMare

Kristin could feel the sun was up even as she opened her eyes. Rolling over she glanced at the darkened window, while the smell of the rare older occupants of the house filled the air. Kristin growled at the scent, and sat up in the queen sized bed to glare around the cold and unfeeling room. Willow deserved more than these empty parents, Kristin could tell they didn’t really live here and that was criminal.

It was also the only reason Kristin had a safe place to be, so she couldn’t damn it too much. Getting out of the bed Kristin moved towards the master bath, another room Willow had sunproofed for her. Kristin had been perfectly happy on the floor in Willow’s room, but the girl set this room up.

“I’m a lousy vampire.” Kristin muttered in disgust and turned the faucet on to wash her face. Looking up it still startled her to not see herself in the mirror. “Really lousy.” She muttered after flinching from not having a reflection yet again.

With a sheet over her head Kristin quickly went down the stairs and into the kitchen, where the sun didn’t reach in the afternoon. She folded the sheet and put it on a chair while she opened up the fridge and pulled out some blood to microwave. Her face scrunched up in disgust as she waited for it, smelling it, and remembering with hunger that one moment she tasted fresh blood. Her body shook as the rest of that memory followed and the horror of that night.

When the microwave beep went off she picked up the mug with both hands and held it close before taking a sip. It was gross, but it was safe. Her Willow wanted her to like this, so Kristin pretended it was okay when the woman was around, but it wasn’t.

Kristin rubbed her chest absently as she drank, feeling for the damage done, but it felt like she’d finally healed. She set the mug down and sighed as part of her wondered if Willow would kick her out now that she’d healed. It was hard to tell what Willow was thinking, her words conflicted at times.

……………..

The research after school didn’t take as long and Willow was able to talk her way out of some after school fun, because she wanted to hurry back and make sure Kristin was okay. It was her first time alone in the house all day after all.

Willow opened the door quietly and carefully in case the vampire was near it, so the woman didn’t get burned by the afternoon sun.

“I can do this, just fall forward.” She heard Kristin’s voice in the kitchen and Willow’s forehead crinkled a little at the vampire talking to herself. “It’ll only hurt for a moment.” That had Willow’s eyes widening and her distractedly tossing her bookbag on a table on her way to see what Kristin was doing.

When she came into view of the kitchen Willow’s voice rose in shock, “WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?” She moved forward quickly as she stared at the vampire, stake in hand, holding it to her chest. Kristin jerked back in shock and the stake fell to the ground as the vampire turned to stare at her, full grr face on, and wide frightened eyes. Willow’s heart was pounding from the sight of Kristin apparently ready to stake herself.

“Sire, you’re home.” Kristin stammered. “I just, well…” Kristin looked around nervously and the grr face started to fade.

“You were going to stake yourself.” Willow accused, moving into the kitchen angrily. “Why?”

“I…” Kristin stared down at the floor. “I’m healed, and I can’t leave.” Kristin’s body started to shake and Willow’s clenched jaw fell as she watched the vampire start to cry. “I just, I just thought if I was still hurt…”

“Look at me.” Willow spoke softly with a commanding tone, moving closer. “Look at me.” She ordered and the vampire looked up with yellow scared eyes. “You don’t hurt yourself. Look, resolve face. You don’t ever hurt yourself.” Her heart was still hammering at the thought that Kristin would have done it. “If you’d slipped all I’d find was dust. I can’t find that, I’d always wonder why. And I have blood, who would drink the blood? No, you can’t hurt yourself, you need to drink the blood. I’m not gonna drink it.” Willow slowed down as she realized she was babbling.

“Sire, I’d rather die by my own hand than have THEM take me again.” Kristin’s words were quiet but strong and Willow stared at her. “Please don’t order me to not hurt myself, because I don’t know if I can follow that order and I don’t want to disobey you. I don’t want the last thing I do to be disobeying my sire. I don’t know where demons go when they die, but maybe there’s a special place in hell for vampires that do that and I don’t want to go there.” Willow lost the breath in her and her back slumped as she stared into the vampire’s grr face. She didn’t know what to say.

“Well, maybe if things are really really bad, but not like this.” Willow amended her order, but she didn’t want to take it back completely. “Did I make you feel like you had to hurt yourself?” Willow’s voice cracked, and she tried to take a deep breath to keep herself from crying in sympathy for the vampire crying in front of her.

“You said I could stay until I healed, but I don’t want to go.” Kristin said and Willow moved forward, reaching out to pull Kristin closer. The vampire leaned down onto her shoulder, which was way too close to her neck for comfort, and she held on tightly, which felt far too dangerous, but Willow did her best to not tense up as she just rubbed Kristin’s back gently. “I’m sorry I’m such a coward.” Kristin whispered.

“No, you’re not a coward.” Willow squeaked out, feeling vampire breath on her neck. Her heart was hammering in fear, but she tried hard to act normal. “There were lots of them, and just one of you. And you aren’t strong like them.” Then Willow worried that she’d hurt her vampire’s pride by mentioning her being weak, but it was just the truth. “You’re stronger than me.” Willow said in a slightly upbeat way. She pulled back and Kristin thankfully let her go. Willow stared into Kristin’s eyes. “Hey, how about we clean up the basement? We could get a bed and turn it into your room. The basement door opens up right across from the hall bathroom, so you could use that one. And that way no one outside would notice the blacked out windows.” Willow felt her heart sink, thinking of all the things wrong with this plan, but she just smiled at a slowly happier looking Kristin. Yeah, like Buffy would never visit? And what about her parents, sure they were almost never here, but they were here sometimes. No, this was a bad plan, a very very bad plan. It sure seemed to make Kristin happy though.

……………..

As they sat watching television Kristin damned herself for playing the weak one, showing her weakness. It wasn’t what she was supposed to do, the Willow that turned her would be disgusted with her, but it was what made this Willow protect her. Being a pet apparently meant having no pride, the other vampires made that clear. “I did your laundry.” Kristin spoke quietly during a commercial for Tide. “I left it on your bed.”

“You don’t have to do the housework. You were supposed to sleep in the day. Vampires need their sleep.” Willow looked up from her homework to talk with her.

Kristin just stared at Willow, who just didn’t get it. Willow was kind, and shy, and strong once in a while, but ever so unwilling to give real orders. Well unless the don’t hurt yourself order counted. “You aren’t at all like the vampire that turned me.” Kristin said softly, staring. “I.. I..,” Kristin turned to the television as she struggled to try and understand her own place in the world, with a sire that didn’t define it for her.

“Kristin?” Willow asked and her voice was soft and caring, and there wasn’t a hint of cruel in it. Kristin looked up and studied curious eyes.

“I need to do something, otherwise I’m just watching tv, and there aren’t that many good shows on.” Kristin returned to the housework issue. “It isn’t like I can go out and do anything.” She saw pity in Willow’s eyes and part of her wanted to growl, but she didn’t.

“I could show you how to use the computer, and maybe you could help me with a project or two.” Willow said and Kristin looked over at her with a small surge of happiness. “I’m working on a demon database, to make identifying what Buffy runs into faster.”

“I can do that.” Kristin nibbled on her lower lip as she considered that she’d be helping a slayer. But she’d be helping Willow as well, that balanced it out didn’t it?

“I could show you right now. The database program I created isn’t all that complex, and I could show you how to use the scanner to put any pictures in with the records.” Willow started to talk faster, excited about the idea. “No one else really wants to help me with it, Giles is kinda anti-computerman, and Buffy and Xander aren’t much better.”

“I like computers.” Kristin said softly with a smile that grew a bit when Willow’s grew. “I’m not like a programmer or anything, but I took a few Microsoft Office classes at UC Sunnydale.”

“Lemme get my laptop.” Willow put her textbook down and darted upstairs. Kristin’s eyes followed her as long as she could, as her mind started to try and figure out her place in the house. Part of her really wanted Willow to just order her around a bit and make it easier, but Kristin was just going to have to pay more attention to the redhead, to interpret what the woman wanted, because Willow had this project laying around and never even thought to make Kristin work on it. There might be other things Willow needed and wouldn’t ask for.

………………..

“Sire,” Kristin’s voice was hesitant and Willow stopped her dialing hand to listen, a phone held half way up to her ear. “Can I have human blood? Maybe the blood bank?” Kristin’s words had Willow staring as she felt a wave of disgust. “I mean, well, the blood you give me is, it’s not that good. Maybe if it were human it would be more like I remember.”

Willow lowered the phone to the cradle and watched a clearly nervous Kristin trying to talk her into getting human, as if Willow could call and have that delivered.

“It’s just, it doesn’t taste right.” Kristin grimaced. “I wish you could taste it, then you’d know. It’s like day old police station coffee compared to a latte.”

“The blood bank doesn’t sell.” Willow pointed out and watched Kristin nibble on her own bottom lip with human teeth.

“Maybe a pizza delivery guy?” Kristin’s eyebrows raised, hopeful and Willow shook her head. She swallowed hard and tried to banish that thought from her mind. “I could just have a taste?” Kristin’s voice was a touch pleading.

“NO, no tasting missy.” Willow put her foot down and gave a strong resolve face, trying to nip that idea in the bud.

“I’ve input three books this week.” Kristin told her, trying to negotiate and Willow took a deep breath, as she watched Kristin’s face go grr. “Pizza for you and a taste for me?”

“I said no.” Willow ordered, feeling nervous and jumpy, worried that this would make the vampire turn on her. Pets were supposed to listen to their sires, so seeing Kristin open her mouth to argue some more was unnerving. Kristin needed to act like in the books and listen or she’d be way too dangerous to keep. “Don’t argue with me!” Willow’s voice rose, shaky, as she tried to channel some of her alternate self’s confidence.

Willow let out a breath she’d been holding when Kristin lowered her eyes in the submissive pose. “I’m sorry Sire.” The words were soft and shaky.

“I’m going to order from the butcher.” Willow told Kristin firmly, and felt a bit bad at the disappointment in Kristin’s expression as the vampire nodded. “Do you prefer pig or cow?” Seeing the hesitation, Willow’s voice grew sharp again. “Those are the only options.”

“Pig, I’ll take pig.” Kristin spoke very quietly and Willow moved to the phone, her own heart had to be hammering at the butch display. Kristin was starting to ask for things that Willow didn’t want her too.

Once she hung up with the butcher Willow turned to see Kristin quietly and tensely doing the dinner dishes. Willow turned to look at the pan next to be cleaned and winced as she realized she hadn’t ever eaten this well, and Kristin was getting apparently really disgusting blood.

Willow didn’t want Kristin to have a taste for human blood, but apparently that was too late. How long could Willow deny her before Kristin became violent? Maybe some night Kristin would try to go out and hunt, and that wasn’t of the good at all. Aside from killing being bad, Buffy and other vampires were out there. It wasn’t safe for Kristin to be out there with them.

Willow needed to find a way to keep Kristin from hunting. “I’m going to study in my room.” Willow said quietly and noticed her vampire nod, but Kristin wasn’t talking. Willow looked into the living room. “After I’m done I’ll help you with the basement.”

“Okay.” Kristin finally spoke and her words were quiet and reserved. Willow felt bad for snapping at her, but she didn’t apologize. Not yet anyhow. It might make her seem weak, and Willow really meant what she said.

Once she was alone in her room Willow pulled out one book no one had realized was missing yet. She opened the very old text and started to read it again. It was the best book about vampire pets, but it still was vague and in some cases she could see now, wrong. The watchers that wrote this speculated a bit much, and it was far from a how to raise your pet book, which was what Willow really wanted. Still it was all she had.

It was a grim faced Willow that closed the book an hour later. A pale grim faced Willow, whose mind was running as fast as it could.

………….

They’d been working for about a half hour and Kristin was a little concerned by the fact that Willow wasn’t talking very much. She had no idea how she’d managed to upset the redhead so badly, but Kristin felt apprehensive about it, worried that she’d screwed up too badly in asking for better blood.

Kristin carefully balanced the shelf as she pulled it out and turned it, creating a sense of a wall near her corner of the basement. She smiled just a little as she was able to do that without completely emptying the shelf of its content, feeling the strength she’d never had before. She may not be as strong as the others, but she was stronger. She wondered if good blood would make her even stronger, if human blood could make her a real vampire. Willow had explained why she was weaker, and Kristin understood it, but to think the rest of her existence was doomed because her sire made her last was upsetting.

Kristin pushed those self pitying thoughts aside and focused on looking at the space she’d created. The shelf would block the view of her from the stairs. Kristin was going to have to learn to sleep on a hammock, which was a little disappointing, but she understood. They couldn’t just buy a bed, and Willow couldn’t explain a bed in the basement. Not that Kristin had ever seen anyone drop by that needed explanations. It had just been her and Willow for a week, aside from the times Willow left for school or meetings. Or shopping. Kristin looked down at the clothes she was wearing and made sure she hadn’t gotten them too dirty.

“Oh,” Willow hissed in pain and Kristin turned to see the redhead holding her hand tight in her other hand. The smell of blood started to reach her and Kristin felt her face shift as she stared for a moment in surprise.

“Sire.” Kristin spoke softly, reverently as she moved forward. Her eyes stayed on the well of red running over Willow’s fingers. Kristin took a deep breath and could smell pain and a bit of fear. She looked up to see Willow watching her carefully, a bit nervously. “Are you okay?” Kristin asked, even as she found herself kneeling in front of Willow, putting her head closer to the scent that filled the air.

Willow stared at her blood and then back at Kristin kneeling at her feet. There was a strange expression on Willows face that made this moment sacred. Kristin didn’t speak, she just stayed as still as she could while Willow seemed to square her shoulders and cleared her throat.

“I offer you protection in exchange for your obedience. I offer you blood in exchange for your work.” Kristin blinked. “I offer you a place at my hearth in exchange for the safety of the humans. You will not hunt, for I will provide for you.” Kristin stared at Willow as Willow shakily said these words, and then held out a bleeding finger. “You will never take too much or you will be cast out.”

“Sire.” Kristin’s voice was breathless in shock as Willow painted Kristin’s lips with her own blood. “Oh Sire.” Kristin’s tongue moved out hesitantly, to lick at her Sire’s blood and Kristin’s eyes closed as pleasure overcame her at the taste. It was better, so much better than she remembered human blood. Her Sire’s blood was potent and pure.

“To take my blood in, is to agree to this oath.” Willow spoke and Kristin opened her eyes to see that finger held out for her, dripping a slow river of life. Kristin slowly moved forward, to lick at the running blood, to trail her tongue up to where the flesh was torn. Keeping teeth far from that tender flesh, Kristin licked and suckled at the blood of her sire and whimpered in pleasure. This was such an honor, one she didn’t deserve, because she was such a horrible vampire, but one she’d treasure.

As her mind hummed with the taste of blood, Kristin felt a bond grow, one that she’d only felt briefly with the Willow that turned her. It grew and flared to life, with a soft shocked sound from her sire, and the finger was taken away. “My body, my blood, my soul is yours.” Kristin whispered, trying to convey her devotion, but knowing her soul was taken days ago, when she became what she is now. It still sounded better than saying her demon was Willows, more complete.

“You will have pig blood for most meals, but once a month I will give you human.” Willow’s voice was shaky. “But you have to obey me, you can’t hunt in any way, even pizza delivery boys. You would be killed,” Kristin flinched. “No, I wouldn’t do it, but there are vampires and vampire slayers out there.”

“I understand.” Kristin spoke softly, head bowed, before turning her eyes up to look into Willow’s concerned face. Kristin stared up into wide eyes with awe, wondering if Willow even knew how powerful she was. It was in her blood.

Willow blushed a little. “Did you, well, did you want a little more? I’m still bleeding.” Willow gave a shy smile and held out the finger for Kristin again.

…………

Willow swallowed hard and stared as Kristin sucked on her finger. Kristin’s grr face was out, but Willow didn’t feel her fangs as Kristin sucked, just a gentle tongue that licked at the wound. Willow’s face grimaced a little at a rather hard lick, but she held still. Her heart was pounding, but it really looked like Kristin would stop, which was good. Willow’s other hand was closed around a bottle of holy water in case Kristin didn’t.

This ritual was all she could think of. She had to control Kristin or she’d be killed. Willow had been desperate, and seeing that soft expression on a demon’s face as Kristin gently kissed her wound while pulling back it was a good gamble she’d made. Hopefully nothing weird would happen with the magic she invoked.

Willow really wished she could talk to someone about this, anyone. She’d just accepted the role of sire and she felt a strange sensation in her mind that told her it wasn’t just symbolic. She hoped she was wrong.

…………………….

Kristin smiled as she noticed Willow had stopped bleeding. She looked up at the redhead from her place kneeling at her feet and gave a shy smile as her face shifted back to human. Her worries started to fade, and her sense of unease about her place in the world faded, as she stared up at her sire.

“You know how about we call it a night? You can work on this more tomorrow if you want, I’ll cover the windows before I go to school.” Willow spoke and Kristin glanced at the rest of the work she’d need to do. She wasn’t thrilled with living in a basement, but she understood the necessity.

“But I’m not done with the books you gave me yet. You said we needed to hurry up and get them back into the library.” Kristin said, still on her knees, waiting for some sort of sign she could get up. It came in the form of Willow taking a step back.

“You’ve been typing almost all night all week. You can give that a rest if you want.” Willow nibbled on her lower lip. “I wish I didn’t have to put you down here, but my parents usually don’t stick around very long. They just wouldn’t understand me having anyone living here, let alone why you slept all day.” Kristin tensed at mention of Willow’s parents. She’d never met them but she didn’t like them.

Willow would be better off with no parents at all than with parents like that, Kristin thought bitterly, but she just nodded that she understood what Willow was saying.

They were up together for another two hours, before Willow went to bed and Kristin quietly went back to work in the basement, so that Willow wouldn’t hurt herself helping.

It was hours later that Kristin went upstairs and showered. As she towel dried her hair she walked out into the hall, it wasn’t like the mirror told her anything anyhow. Kristin stood in the doorway to her Sire’s room and stared in, surprised that the redhead had forgotten to close the door.

Willow was curled around a book she must have been reading as she fell asleep, and her red hair was fanned out on the pillow. “Like an angel.” Kristin muttered quietly as she stood in the darkened hall and stared. Her mind filled in her memories of the vampire that turned her and was surprised that someone that had seemed like satan incarnate was so angelic as a human witch.

Kristin hesitantly, slowly took a step into the room. Her steps were very quiet and her eyes stayed on the redhead, looking for any hint that she would wake up. “Sire.” Kristin whispered ever so quietly as she felt the hum of the connection and smiled as she stood at the foot of Willow’s bed.

She felt the urge to reach out and touch the redhead, to caress her neck and feel the pulse of her heart in her neck with her cold fingertips, but Kristin didn’t. She just stared down a moment, and her foot bumped into something soft on the floor. When she looked down she recognized one of the larger soft stuffed animals that normally resided on Willow’s bed during the day.

Willow had given her the use of her parent’s room, with the old smell and abandoned feel. Kristin slowly lowered herself to the floor and rested her damp head on the stuffed animal as she listened to the beat of one heart she’d never silence, couldn’t bear to imagine it silent even. This Willow wasn’t vicious and strong like a vampire, but she was strong and gentle. Perhaps for such a horrible vampire, that was a much better sire.

Kristin cuddled up to the stuffed animal and sighed happily as she recalled the taste of Willow’s blood, and she marveled at the way she could still seem to taste it. It was like the finest wine, the best chocolate, and somehow sunshine on a spring morning. It made that one man she’d captured seem like he tasted of day old beer and moldy bread, and she’d thought he was good at the time.

Kristin was going to make sure she was worthy of that blood again.

…………….

Willow heard the slight groan and her eyes shot opened as her heart hammered, scared of what she’d find. In the hall the light was on and it shined into the room. She heard the sound of someone shifting position and Willow slowly moved to look down at the floor. She sighed in relief as she saw Kristin. Willow stared at the brunette and watched as Kristin’s hand clenched softly at Mr. Tibbles foot. Kristin snuggled up to the stuffed rabbit, one stuffed ear parting her hair and the other nearly in her mouth.

“Vicious vampire.” Willow whispered with a small smile as she watched Kristin sleep. “Are you going to bite Mr. Tibbles?” She asked softly, and all she got was a small whimper from the vampire as the vampire shifted, actually hugging the stuffed animal tighter.

Willow grimaced a little as she turned onto her side to stared down at Kristin, because her wrapped finger was sore and pulling the sheets up was uncomfortable. Willow glanced at the window, seeing some light leaking through the curtains, and knew it was early morning.

Perhaps if Kristin was regularly going to be found on the floor in the morning Willow should buy thicker curtains. Willow frowned at that thought and stared at Kristin. Having the vampire sleeping on the floor seemed wrong on a few levels, but it just felt natural now, after having seen Kristin do this three times in the week she’d been here.

What was a little unnerving was that Willow never heard her come in. A vampire regularly snuck into her room and Willow wondered at why that didn’t downright terrify her, because it didn’t. This was bad. Willow had to remember that Kristin wasn’t a tamed pet, but looking at the vampire cuddling a stuffed animal she used as a pillow it was hard to do.

……………….

Willow sat in the library with a book on the table in front of her, but her eyes were on the clock. It was getting late, and it was making her jumpy. Buffy would want to walk her home in the dark, and that was a bad idea, but Willow couldn’t just leave them to research this demon alone.

“Man, makes me miss the weekend and I hate being home.” Xander muttered as he flipped another page. “What’s wrong with an axe to the throat? That seems to kill everything.”

“Unless it’s one of the rare demons that regenerate twice as many heads.” Giles said distractedly from his own book.

“I say we give the axe a try.” Buffy commented from her place pacing, her book left alone on the table. “Even two heads couldn’t make that thing any more ugly.”

“Makes you miss the good old vamps.” Buffy continued her words, moving all the while. “There isn’t a lot to killing them, just a stake or a beheading. Nothing to look up.”

“Buffy, we need to understand the demon to kill it without risking you.” Giles scolded and tossed the book in front of him gently to the side.

Willow internally grimaced like the others, but apparently it wasn’t all that internal because Buffy gave her a puzzled look. They went back to research, and finally it was Xander that found the demon, but it was three hours later and dark.

Willow couldn’t even sneak off and call Kristin, because then there would be questions about who she was talking to, but the vampire probably had dinner ready two hours ago.

“I say we celebrate with some Bronzage.” Buffy smiled and Willow’s jaw clenched. “I haven’t seen a vampwill vamp in days and Willow needs to get out of the house. I can patrol later.”

“I have a lot to do.” Willow spoke up. “My paper for English and then I should really work on the database, if it were done we wouldn’t have needed to look so long.”

“Will, Will, Will,” Xander grinned at her and Willow noticed it didn’t do anything for her, no fluttery heart, no sweaty palms. That was new. “All work and no Bronze, Will,” He shook his head. “You really don’t want to know what that will do to you. We will save you from your textbooks and keyboard.”

“I think that Oz guy’s band is playing.” Buffy grinned at her and Willow found her friends packing her backpack for her and herding her towards the door.

“I don’t really want to…” Willow muttered as they seemed to propel her through the library doors, feeling helpless to stop this.

………………

Kristin stared out the darkened window into the night and she couldn’t see anyone walking down the street. Willow was strong, Kristin felt nervous as she waited. It wasn’t safe out there.

Dinner was old, and Kristin had given up and put it in the fridge as leftovers. The phone’s ringer had been checked and it was on. Where was Willow?

What if Willow never came home? What if she were turned, the Vampire Willow would never have been as kind to her as this Willow was. Kristin preferred her sire to the one she’d originally had, even though at times she wished Willow understood her a bit more. But Willow tried.

If Kristin could just step outside, maybe then she could find Willow just to make sure she was okay. Kristin stared out the window nervously. She was supposed to be a creature of the night.

Willow told her to stay inside, but inside was feeling small and lonely. Maybe if she stayed in the light, away from dark alleys, she would be safe. Kristin thought with some lingering hope, but she just stayed on the couch and stared out into the dark. Willow wanted her to stay inside.

Willow should have been home hours ago.

……………

The music was loud and Willow had to put a hand over her other ear to even attempt to hear the phone ring. It was probably covered in a million different germs, but Willow ignored it mostly and waited for the machine to pick up. “Kristin, it’s me.” Those words were all she got out before she heard the vampire pick up.

“Willow?” That one word sounded nervous and Willow felt the lump of guilt in her heart grow. It had taken over an hour for her to get a moment alone to call, and she’d already been late. Xander had finally started to dance with someone else as Cordy arrived.

“I’m sorry.” Willow had to lean into the wall as a couple passed her on the way to the bathroom. Willow eyed them carefully noticing the woman walk into the men’s bathroom with him. “Buffy and Xander wanted to go dancing.”

“Oh.” Kristin’s words were flat. “Well, I guess I’ll work on the database.” And Willow grimaced. They had planned to rent a movie tonight. Willow had asked what Kristin wanted to see, because with all the hard work the vampire was doing Willow wanted to reward her. Well reward her in something less painful than blood.

“Do you, well, nevermind.” Willow sighed and looked around to see Buffy appearing to be looking for her, but not seeing her yet. Willow wanted to invite Kristin, but that wasn’t really possible. “I need to go.”

Even needing to go, Willow hung up slowly. Willow stepped out of the hall and watched at Buffy seemed to relax after seeing her.

As they sat down the band stopped for a break and the way Buffy wiggled her eyebrows and smiled as Oz made his way to the table actually irritated Willow. Oz stood at the table and gave her a small smile. “Willow, hey.”

Willow felt Buffy lightly kick her shin to get her to talk and Willow had no idea what to say. “Hey Oz.” It felt awkward and stilted. They’d broken up, he called it taking a break while he tried to make sense of being a werewolf, but the result for her was the same. He hadn’t been around until lately. He came to her after seeing VampWill to make sure she wasn’t really a vampire, but other than that it was nothing.

Nothing until now. “Willow, movie tomorrow?” Oz asked and Willow could see how happy that made Buffy, and Willow sighed. She almost wanted to say yes just because it did make Buffy happy, and because Oz had been a good boyfriend, but she felt awkward and wrong as she considered it. Dating on top of helping the slayer would really increase the chances of her getting caught with Kristin, and that would be very bad. Oz used to come over on the weekend and watch movies with her, he couldn’t do that now.

With Buffy beaming, Willow turned to give Buffy a semi-stern look to try and get a little privacy. It worked, but Buffy sauntered away and her movements seemed to promise an awkward discussion later.

“Oz.” Willow turned to look at him as he slipped into the chair Buffy had vacated.

A half hour later Buffy was walking Willow home. Xander had stayed with Cordy and Willow currently wished it was the other way around as Buffy gave her puzzled looks. “You said no?”

“Buffy.” Willow glanced at her friend. “It just wasn’t the same.”

“But you two were so cute together.” Buffy complained and Willow was already feeling upset. She didn’t want to justify herself too.

“Well maybe I’ve found someone else. He was gone for a while after all.” Willow tossed out to prove a point, but her mind went back to Kristin as she said it, causing her to go quiet a moment. “Not that I did, but I could have. He didn’t care that I was alone, didn’t ask if I’d found someone, he just assumed we’d start up with the snuggles again right away.”

“So you just want him to work for it?” Buffy asked, seemingly happy with her interpretation.

“No.” Willow replied, glad that they were almost to her house. “I don’t want to date someone that would rather run away than let me help them. I’m research girl, I could have found something to help him, I could have at least gotten a chance to try, but he just up and leaves.”

“But he’s back now.” Buffy glanced around at the shadows in Willow’s yard. “Hey Will, how about we talk later? I feel that slayer spider sense and I want to get you inside before I check the neighborhood.”

Those words startled Willow and had her heart pounding as she was torn between wanting an evil vampire outside looking for her or not, because hey evil vampire outside meant that Buffy would stake and go, but if Buffy sensed the vampire inside tonight was about to get really messy.

……………..

Kristin looked up from the computer screen with concern as Willow turned a pale face towards her and held a finger over her lips for silence. “Upstairs, my room.” Willow spoke quietly and Kristin glanced at the front door, which was closing and then at how Willow’s wide eyes pleaded for something like obedience and Kristin immediately responded to it.

Kristin was up the stairs and sitting on the bed waiting as Willow came and then quickly opened her closet and pulled out a bag. “Buffy’s outside looking for a vampire she senses.” Willow explained and Kristin swallowed hard. “I want to try a spell, just a small spell, to keep your vampy vibes contained so she goes away. We have to do this fast before she suspects the vampire is inside. I’m sorry.” Willow’s eyes moved from the bed she’d tossed her supplies out on quickly, a brief but intense apology and nervousness stared at Kristin. “Stand up in the middle of the room.” Kristin did it without a word, becoming more nervous as Willow’s nervousness filled the room with quick motions and a heart beat that moved faster than Kristin normally heard it.

Kristin stared in apprehension as Willow started to pour sand in a circle around her on the floor, a circle only about three feet in diameter. “You have to stay in the circle. This is a demon containment spell, it isn’t meant for this, but the side effect is that you’ll be vibe free in the circle.”

“If you told her not to kill me, wouldn’t she leave me alone?” Kristin asked quietly. After hearing about that spell that brought her blood sire to this world, Kristin was not eager to be a part of a spell.

“Not fast enough. Buffy acts faster than she listens.” Willow muttered as she flipped through a book for the words. “You’re my secret and I think that’s best. No one would understand.”

The magic felt crackly in the air and Kristin saw the light yellow glow in the air in front of her appear with surprise, her head jerking back, but she couldn’t move back. She reached out to touch the magical see through walls around her and got a shock she found herself very unhappy with just a three foot circle of space.

……………………….

“I’m so sorry.” Willow said as she stood on the chair, hanging the curtains she’d pulled from her parent’s room. They were the thickest in the house and Kristin was still standing in the middle of her room. “It was supposed to cancel easily.” The spell still kept her vampire trapped. Buffy had checked in once the vibe ended and then left, but when Willow came up to free Kristin she found she couldn’t.

Willow stepped down from the chair and pulled the curtains tight, hoping it wouldn’t come to this. Then she turned to stare at Kristin, who stood so still in the middle, after having been shocked a bit hard a few times as she tried to just pound her way out. That was a powerful containment spell. Willow hadn’t counted on her own emotions of wanting it to work really well to affect its original purpose so well. It was meant to hold violent demons helpless for rituals. Her gentle demon didn’t have a chance of getting out of that without Willow figuring it out.

It broke her heart to see Kristin’s back slumping and her holding her more damaged arm. The shock was intense and Kristin had lost some feeling it in. The vampire’s grr face flickered on and off occasionally from pain or fear, Willow wasn’t sure which. This was the first magic Kristin had seen and Willow was embarrassed and upset that it wasn’t working right. It was holding to its original purpose too well, and that wasn’t why Willow had used it.

“I’ll get you out of there.” Willow promised and moved to rest her own hand over the see through magical wall again, the words of the spell uttered with more anger as she tried to undo it one last time before looking at her books again. It didn’t work.

Willow worked a few more hours and then Kristin carefully and slowly moved to sit down on the floor. “Sleep sire.” Kristin spoke softly, sounding resigned. “You look too tired to continue and the sun will be up soon.”

“Now listen here missy, I’m the one with the orders.” Willow spoke a bit harshly because of her headache and then regretted it when Kristin flinched. “I can’t sleep with you all trapped like this.”

“I’ll be quiet.” Kristin offered, not seeming to understand why Willow wouldn’t be able to sleep. It wasn’t noise.

“I’ll just find a counter spell. Maybe it’s in the darker texts.” Willow told Kristin while thinking of it. A book aimed more for demons might have a counter, because it didn’t look like the book she had ever considered letting a demon go without casting a spell on it. The spell casting was the signal to unlock, but Willow hadn’t seen that until after she’d cast the containment. Willow didn’t want to cast a spell on Kristin, it didn’t seem fair to do that to the poor vampire. There had to be another way.

“I’m getting hungry.” Kristin whispered and Willow looked up again sharply. Nothing went in or out of the force field. She couldn’t warm up a mug for Kristin. Kristin knew this. “I can hear you are too. I left dinner in the fridge.” Kristin looked away.

“I really screwed up didn’t I?” Willow spoke quietly, thinking of the entire night, not just the spell. Her not saying no to Buffy and Xander about dancing, and then letting Buffy walk her home all led to this. Then she used a spell she’d never fully researched to protect Kristin and it wasn’t working right.

“Sire, you can’t screw up.” The words sounded hollow, like her pet didn’t feel she could agree, but couldn’t really deny it either.

Willow moved to sit on the floor in front of Kristin, the book in her lap. It would take far too long to get to the library and steal the right books, before sneaking back home. Kristin didn’t deserve this.

“This spell is often used to hold a demon still to cast spells on them. The containment will fall if a spell is cast.” Willow swallowed hard and looked down at the list of spells people often used on demons. Willow started to summarize them for Kristin, who sat very still to listen because she couldn’t move very much. “If a demon killed someone the caster cared about they could cast a spell of retribution.”

“I’ve never killed anyone.” Kristin spoke quietly her head bowed to stare at her knees, but it didn’t feel like a mark of honor for Willow, more like Kristin was too upset with her.

“I know.” Willow spoke softly back, before clearing her throat and moving down the list. Kristin was right, Willow was very tired, her voice was a little rough and slow because of it. “If the caster wanted someone killed they could cast of spell of compulsion.” Willow looked up at her demon, who was looking up at her. “I don’t want anyone killed.” Kristin looked down again. Willow did want a few demons that Buffy fought killed, but Kristin wasn’t more capable than Buffy in something like that, not even close. Willow couldn’t send Kristin out after a demon. Not to mention that spell was some pretty evil stuff, really any spell calling for a captured demon would be.

Willow sighed as she looked at the next few spells often used. “The caster could cast an enslaving spell to create a dark force of protectors for their castle.” Willow blinked, wondering if anyone had ever really cast that. It seemed rather scary. Maybe she already had a dark book. This really wasn’t light magic. “Or they could enslave a personal slave,” Willow blushed as she read about the spells on incubi and succubi, “to do personal things.” Her words went quiet as she read a little more on the two demon types and realized that it wasn’t at all like people thought. It wasn’t the demon that sucked power and life out of a lover, but if a person captured one, they’d suck the demon’s power away from them. This spell was meant to be used to gain magical power through forced sex with demons that gave their power to those they had sex with, demons that normally preferred to remain virgins because of it. Willow felt some pity for the demons.

“What kind of personal things?” Kristin finally asked softly. “I already do your cooking and cleaning because you’re my sire. To do it because of a spell wouldn’t really change anything.”

“Not that kind of personal things.” Willow’s face blushed as she stared at the book rather than at Kristin. “More personal personal things.”

“I’m supposed to do those too.” Kristin whispered and Willow looked up with wide eyes to see that Kristin really did know what she was talking about by the serious look in her eyes. Willow had read what sires used their pets for, and she’d heard Kristin’s painful words about her attack and what they’d told her of her role in life.

“I wouldn’t do that to you.” Willow spoke forcefully. “You don’t deserve to be, to be… to be hurt like that, and none of these poor demons that had this happen to them deserved that.” Her feelings about demons had started changing with Kristin here, and she could see some of them as people now. They were people that human warlocks and witches had wronged at times with this spell.

“You’re my sire. It’s impossible for you to rape me, because you own me.” Kristin told her and Willow’s blush faded to a white that made her look more like her vampiric double.

“Don’t believe everything those monsters told you.” Willow glared at Kristin’s words, not Kristin herself. “I don’t own you, not like that. No one can own you like that.” She wished she could say she didn’t own Kristin at all, but she had done that spell to control her, to accept the role of sire. That was a bit of ownership, but it was to protect Kristin, not to hurt her.

Kristin spoke slowly, almost hesitantly. “What if I gave you permission, if I said it was okay if you wanted sexual service?” Willow’s blush started to return. “My Blood Sire wanted me for that.”

Willow’s mind noticed how Kristin was differentiated between herself and the Willow that turned her now, but she barely acknowledged it as her mind and her stammering jaw tried to deal with the idea of sexual service. “She was kinda gay.” Willow pointed out, and felt her heart sink yet again, thinking that if her double was kinda gay maybe she was too. Angel had almost confirmed it at the time, Willow knew Buffy stopped him. That also brought up the question of why Buffy would stop him, did she not want a gay friend?

Willow stared at Kristin, in her silk top and black tight jeans, sitting on the floor. Her buttons on the top opened a bit to share a little cleavage. Sexy was just a female vampire thing, but the fact that Willow noticed, did that mean that she was kinda gay too?

“I’m going to go have dinner, or breakfast, whatever.” Willow spoke forcefully, “And when I come back there will be no more talk about this.” Her heart was beating too fast and it had something to do with the predatory look in Kristin’s eyes, a look the vampire rarely gave her, one that was almost like a vampire wanting to feed, but not quite.

There had to be another way to get Kristin out of that circle.

As Willow went down the stairs her mind also made a clear connection, Kristin was kinda gay. Willow just didn’t know if that was a vampire thing, or if Kristin was always kinda gay. If Kristin always was, did that mean Willow was now, because her vampire self was?

It was too early in the morning for thoughts like this, Willow tried to push the thoughts away, but the view of Kristin’s pale cleavage and the hunger in those eyes did something to her she wanted to deny, but wasn’t sure she could.