Sire

By Knightmare

Kristin knew what they had to do. She didn’t need to understand a lot about magic to see it. Willow knew it too, but instead Willow was working herself into the ground looking through every book they had here, and making a list of books to get next. Kristin shook her head slowly from side to side and let out a deep breath.

“If this takes much longer I might become dangerous.” Kristin spoke up, startling Willow, who was starting to sag like she was going to fall asleep in a book. “I hadn’t eaten, I was too upset to be able to stomach, the… well the blood you give me.” Kristin bit back how stinky and nasty that blood was on a regular occasion, but with her being worried about Willow she just couldn’t choke it down. Kristin’s eyes stared into Willow’s and it hurt to admit to this. “The longer I’m in here the nicer your heart beat sounds to me. I want to say I’d never hurt you sire, but this is going to take days isn’t it?” It was manipulative, what she was doing, but days without food would make her crazy and it was a risk she couldn’t take. One meal of her sire would be heaven, but eternity without her would be hell.

“It won’t take that long.” Willow said with confidence and Kristin just quietly sighed again.

“I would like to serve you in that way.” Kristin spoke softly, her voice a little deeper. “Sire, I get so lonely.” Willow blushed and the heat of blood so close to the surface made Kristin stare. “Maybe you’d have to tie me down if I’m hungry, but it could still be good.” Kristin imagined being able to bite Willow in the heat of passion and knew that wasn’t possible, but it was a nice fantasy.

“There will be no chains and funny business.” Willow gave Kristin a stern look and Kristin pulled her knees closer to the body and just rested her head on them. She was getting tired too, but she couldn’t risk moving or she’d get shocked again.

Willow was awake and looking more quickly through her books again. Kristin whispered a question, “Am I going to die in here? What happens to vampires that die?”

“They turn to dust, you know that, but I’m not going to let you die.” Willow made a small sound that sounded a bit like a whimper but couldn’t be. Kristin just tried to make herself into a small ball that could rest a little. The alarm clock suddenly clicked and the sound of Willow’s radio station filled the room, warning Willow that it would normally be time to wake up and get ready for school. Kristin felt a wave of resignation hit her, knowing that Willow was going to leave her alone for hours in here. It was time for Willow to sneak out, pretend everything was normal, and steal more books to check into tonight.

“I want a pizza boy.” Kristin muttered. “A big one with hot blood filled with fear. I’m so hungry.”

“I’m sorry.” Willow got up and walked into the bathroom, but Kristin swore she heard Willow’s voice tremble. It made Kristin feel bad, even though her comment hadn’t been mean spirited. It was just wishful thinking out loud.

…………..

“No.” Willow stared into surprised eyes as Buffy backed up a bit at the forceful delivery of the rare word. Willow was mad at herself for not saying it yesterday and there was no way she was staying after school today after leaving Kristin trapped like that. “I have things I have to do Buffy. All those things I was supposed to do last night, but I didn’t because I went dancing with you.”

Xander came in smiling, “So is Willster up with the Pizza bonanza?” Willow turned to him and shook her head. He knew her well enough to recognize the resolve face.

“I have work to do. I have to pass.” She told him and then started to pick up her backpack. It was a brief meet in the library before leaving, but it was time to go. She had the books she needed hidden in her bag.

“Will, are you okay?” Buffy asked gently and Willow sighed heavily.

“I’m fine. I just have a lot to do.” She smiled just a little to try and make Buffy believe her, but it looked doubtful that she did.

“Will, I’ll find and stake all those Vampwill vamp’s for you. You don’t have to worry.” Buffy said just the wrong thing and Willow flinched a little at the thought. “I promise, a vampire won’t get near you.”

Buffy would have been shocked to realize how near her a vampire was, or that Willow was trying one last desperate thing before allowing that vampire even closer. Buffy survived sex with a vampire, and Kristin didn’t have a soul to lose and wasn’t a childe, she was just a pet.

Willow was a nervous wreck, because if she didn’t find some other answer tonight she was going to have to give Kristin her virginity. It was only fair, she caused this mess. It wasn’t how she’d envisioned losing it, but if her choices were to watch Kristin starve to death or have sex with her the decision was already made. Willow wouldn’t starve anyone to death, not even someone she didn’t like. There was no way she’d make Kristin go another day without blood.

“It’s just homework and college applications Buff.” Willow gave a weak smile to cover up her real concerns. Sure college was another big decision she was making, but right now it didn’t seem all that pressing anymore.

“You know you can always talk to me right?” Buffy asked and Willow smiled at her friend. If only that were true, and usually it would be, but Buffy wasn’t someone Willow could talk to about this. There was no one she could talk to about this. Willow really wished she could trust someone to understand. Kristin was her responsibility, Kristin was hers. They would never understand. They’d tell her to just open the windows and let the sun take care of the vampire if she didn’t want to watch her starve, and Willow just couldn’t even think about that.

……………….

On her way home Willow stopped off at the butcher shop and just stood there, wondering what might be better than cow or pig. She nibbled on her lip as various people came in and ordered. She sighed heavily as she held back.

“Psst.” A voice from the back door called and Willow turned to see a younger man that clearly was the butchers son waving her closer. “You’re the girl that gets the blood right?” He glanced out at the sun meaningfully and then back at her. Willow’s eyes widened to realize he knew what went on out there in the dark. “Look, I can get human for a price. Fix your vampire friend right up.”

Willow’s jaw dropped as she stared at him. As a human he wasn’t immune to being a monster apparently.

“You are Angel’s friend right?” He asked and Willow nodded quickly, seeing the miscommunication and hoping it worked for her. “He comes in here at night sometimes, and he’s saved my pa before, so I can arrange for a delivery to the hospital to get lost. I don’t actually work here with my dad, I’m an intern at the hospital.” And suddenly he wasn’t a monster, Willow was a liar. She arranged to drop by the hospital in an hour where she’d get something that would hopefully make Kristin forgive her. Something she never wanted to feed her vampire, but felt compelled to now.

It would be better if Kristin weren’t hungry if they really ended up having sex, Willow thought. Her body was nervous and her heart pounding as she waited in the parking lot, knowing she’d just barely make it home before dark and she’d be carrying stolen blood.

……………..

After Willow put away the blood, hiding it a bit even though she hoped it would be used tonight, she stalled. She found herself making a snack, drinking some juice, and being ever so reluctant to go upstairs. She muttered to herself about being a coward and finally grabbed her book bag and went to see how Kristin was.

Kristin sat on the floor looking depressed and helpless and Willow dropped her book bag and moved to her side quickly, feeling bad for stalling now. “Hey, I’m back.” She smiled a little but noticed how slowly her little vampire looked up, and that the vamp grr face was on.

“You can’t let me go.” Kristin sounded like she’d been crying. “I’m too hungry, and I can’t hurt you.” Willow felt like her heart stopped hearing Kristin put her safety first and her eyes became a little glassy. “I’m not strong enough to fight this, and I just want blood so bad.”

“I bought you some.” Willow spoke soothingly, seeing tears trail down Kristin’s face.

“It’s bad. It’s gross, and I want human. I’m sorry I’m so weak, but I’m so hungry.” Kristin surely couldn’t see through those tears. “Sire, you’re my sire and I can’t live without you, but I can’t promise your safety right now. Just open the window Willow, just open it.”

“Oh Goddess, no.” Willow sat down heavily next to the forcefield and put her hands on the magical shield. “No, you aren’t to ask me to do that.” Willow felt like her own guilt would eat her alive, knowing she caused this. It couldn’t go on any longer, she couldn’t research for hours leaving Kristin like this. Being this close she could see how even for a vampire Kristin was too pale, and how shaky her body was. She could see the dark circles under her eyes that showed the vampire had precious little sleep in far too long. “I bought human for you. Once I do the spell you are to go downstairs and eat your fill, before we complete the ritual.” Willow’s hands were shaking as she pulled the book that had the spell she’d cast in it. “You’ll be my first Kristin, and I need you to be in control of yourself and be gentle.”

“You don’t want me.” Kristin’s voice was softer, hurt.

Willow opened the book to the right page. “I don’t want you to leave me, in any way. Do you want me?” Willow fidgeted a little as she waited for the answer, Kristin was taking a little too long to answer.

“Yes, but No.” Kristin defied her openly and Willow just stared. “No, if you don’t really want me then what you’re asking me to do is horrible. I’ll lose you, you won’t be able to be around me. This is a mistake. This is supposed to be special. My first time was wasted, clumsy, and awkward and I didn’t like it. I was with someone because I thought it was the right thing to do, and I hated every second. Even if we can not call this rape, it will be like that for you. If I’m not outright raping you, you’ll hate every minute of it. And with a spell like this I’m supposed to make you enjoy it. I can’t, I’m not that good. I can’t make you want me if you really don’t.”

“This is my fault.” Willow spoke softly, but her heart ached, because with Kristin’s words Willow felt like the demon really had a beautiful soul. It shouldn’t be there, but Willow really wondered it if were.

“I don’t want to be your punishment.” Kristin had never been so forceful, the vampire didn’t submit to this. It was nice to see that Kristin would stand up for some things, but Willow didn’t know what to do now. Apparently the vampire realized this, because her head bowed again. “Willow, sire… if you ever want sexual service I’ll gladly give it. If you ever need to make me submit by violence I’ll submit. If you need me to work, I’ll work. I have no problems with these things. You give me so much, I have no problem with what you ask for in return. I know what I am and I know how lucky I am to have a sire that cares for me. Most vampires like me probably don’t even live as long as I have. I know I have it good. Please, try to find a different way. Making yourself the sacrifice in this will only hurt both of us. I want you, I really do. I want you to want sexual service. I want you to want it, me. I feel safest when you touch me.” Willow could barely breathe as the words she was hearing seemed to sear themselves into her mind.

“It’s okay.” Willow stopped the fast and heartfelt words. The book in her hand fell to the floor and she just stared at Kristin. She’d never known the depth of the bond they had. She really had nothing to fear from her vampire, because her vampire loved her. “We’ll think of something else, then you can drink up that human blood I bought you.”

Kristin seemed to release a tense breath and nodded. Willow wasn’t so sure she wouldn’t be willing to have sex with her vampire now. She’d never felt so soft and cuddly inside before, all from Kristin’s words.

……………..

“This is nothing but garbage.” Willow tossed the second book onto the disappointment pile and sighed while leaning back against her bed. Willow sat on the floor near Kristin, so it was easy to reach her foot out to rest it against the magical barrier. She caressed it quietly, thinking that from the inside touching the sides would probably make her scream in pain. This was a nasty piece of magic she did, all for the right reasons, but Kristin wasn’t looking too good.

“I think young vampires need blood more often.” Willow mused as she watched Kristin just staring at the floor, as if in a half sleep. It didn’t look comfortable.

“I don’t own a castle.” Willow spoke more loudly and Kristin seemed to jerk out of a trance to look at her. “but would you consider being my body guard? Not that you’d well, actually guard me, but it is an easy spell.”

Kristin stared for a while, clearly thinking and Willow could see Kristin’s expression change. It went from considering to a brief moment of pain and then it was shame. “I can’t even protect myself sire, that’s why I have you.” Willow felt bad for her unthinking comment, something said just to say something, when she saw Kristin’s expression.

“It’s okay.” Willow spoke quietly. “You have any ideas?”

“I could kill someone for you, if it’s a human. You said Cordelia picked on you.” Kristin spoke hesitantly and Willow paled and took in a startled breath. “Or not.”

“Um, not really wanting you to kill people.” Willow leaned her head back tiredly, resting it on her bed. The soft growl made her open her eyes to see Kristin staring at her neck. It wasn’t a comforting look. “I do prefer the quick it’s done approach to it, unlike the guard duty which appears to be until you, well, are dust.”

“alright.” Kristin muttered and Willow just sighed before she reached for the last book. The soft tickle on her skin had her look down and Willow tossed the book down and violently shook her arm. “Get off! Get Off!” Her skin crawled as the spider remained, until it finally fell off. Willow moved backwards away from it and stared at the large gross arachnid.

“I could kill that.” Kristin spoke up and Willow turned wide eyes to her vampire in shock at the simple solution.

“That’s perfect.” Willow watched the spider run into the shadows of her room as if it knew what they were talking about. “You can find it right? I would have to try and sleep with the bloodthirsty little beast crawling around just waiting for me to close my eyes.”

“He’s not the blood thirsty beast you need to worry about.” Kristin spoke up just as Willow turned from her bed with the book she needed in her hand.

“You’ll be okay.” Willow spoke more softly. “The blood is in the crisper, no one looks in there. My friends never come over for salad.”

Willow took a deep breath and sent a silent prayer to the goddess that this worked right, before she cast the spell of compulsion. She watched with some horror as Kristin’s grr face gained some lightly glowing eyes and as the magical barrier dropped Willow screamed just a little as Kristin leapt towards the bed, pulling it out so fast that the bed rammed into the opposite wall as the spider found himself exposed.

Kristin growled like a vicious vampire and her foot slammed into the floor. A moment after that Kristin turned to stare at Willow, breathing deeply even though she didn’t need too.

“Blood is in the fridge.” Willow reminded Kristin while backing up against her closet door. Kristin took one step closer, before getting a pained look in her face and Kristin turned and ran so fast that even Buffy would be hard pressed to catch her, out the bedroom door and Willow didn’t hear Kristin’s footsteps on any stairs, just the loud boom of a landing on the floor below.

Willow didn’t go downstairs, she just leaned back against her wall and waited for Kristin to eat, not wanting to risk tempting her with fresh human blood.

Willow moved to look at the newly exposed floor and grimaced. Maybe once Kristin was done with her blood she’d consider cleaning that up. Spider guts were still as upsetting as a spider.

…………….

Kristin wiped the counter even though she had barely spilled a drop. Her hands were shaking and the microwave bell signaled her second bag of human blood was ready. This one she didn’t gulp down like a starving woman, she savored it and stared out into the darkness in the backyard as she drank more slowly. Willow got her this blood and while no where near as good as Willow’s blood it was far more edible than her normal. Kristin regretted drinking the first bag so quickly, because she knew it would be a long time before she saw blood this good again.

She would have saved some, but she put the third bag in the microwave to make it more like fresh. Her hands were still shaky, the compulsion of the spell was a bit scary even though she’d agreed with it. What scared her more was that she’d ached for Willow’s blood, it took a lot to not go to the redhead.

Her sire was strong in strange ways, but Willow wasn’t strong enough to stop a weak vampire. Kristin didn’t like even thinking about that.

She cleaned her mug and put it away, tossed the empty blood bags in the garbage and then sighed heavily. She didn’t really want to go back upstairs, she’d spent way too long in there and she was afraid to see the look on Willow’s face.

Kristin pulled out a few things to cook for the redhead and when she looked up from the fridge she saw Willow standing in the kitchen doorway. “Is it okay now?”

“Yes.” Kristin lowered her eyes and stood still, waiting.

“You’re all full? Was the blood good?” Willow sounded a bit nervous, and Kristin didn’t risk looking up just yet.

“It was very good sire. Thank you. I know it must have been hard for you to get.” Kristin wanted to make it clear she was grateful. It improved her chances of getting human again.

“I’m so sorry.” And Kristin was a little surprised when she was pulled into a hug. “I just wanted to protect you. I didn’t mean for it to go all wonky.”

It took Kristin a moment to take in the warmth and the scent. She stood still as her ears caught the steady thump of Willow’s heart, and she was a little surprised that the heart didn’t beat in a scared panicked fashion as Kristin returned the hug and accepted the apology. Willow should be even more nervous around her now, not more comfortable.

“If you feel safer when I touch you, I need to touch you more.” Willow whispered and Kristin’s eyes widened a little as her mind tried to grasp the strange undercurrent to the words, a tone that made it seem just a tad less innocent.

When Willow pulled back Kristin watched the redhead nibble on her lip a moment and the small half grimace half smile. “Do you think maybe you could wipe up the spider you killed and put my bed back? It’s a little heavy and I really don’t want to touch the spider, it was huge. Almost a demon spider.” Kristin smiled as Willow asked. As long as Willow found her useful Kristin had a safe place to stay, and it looked like her hunger hadn’t ruined that.

She would have missed her sire if Willow told her to leave. It didn’t look like Willow was even considering it.

………………

Kristin sat on the floor and enjoyed the feeling of being able to stretch her legs out in front of her. Willow had brought home the movie she’d promised the night before and Kristin sat and watched, but she was distracted by the soft touch to her head, the caress of her hair. It was enough to make her freeze as she waited to see what Willow wanted, but the hand merely played with Kristin’s hair softly.

After a few minutes Kristin sighed and her body relaxed back into the couch, leaning her head back and exposing her neck. As the hand petting her moved to one side of her head Kristin tilted her head, exposing her neck even more. “Sire.” Kristin whispered.

“Is this not okay?” Willow asked quietly, while her hand moved to caress the side of Kristin’s neck. Kristin gasped quietly and arched up, pushing her neck into Willow’s caress. “I’ve never had any type of pet before, not even a hamster. I don’t know that my fish did count, I couldn’t really pet them.” Kristin managed to not even flinch at being called a pet by Willow, from Willow it wasn’t a derogatory comment said right before hurting her. It came with a caress to her pulse point. Willow sounded distracted, in her head, like she sometimes got. “I used to ask for a pet. Once I saw a cute kitten, but my father said that it had too much fur and would shed on the couch.” The redhead’s hand moved through Kristin’s hair again. “You aren’t shedding, I wonder what he’d say about my keeping you. He couldn’t claim you’d ruin the carpet either.”

“Pet my neck.” Kristin spoke after the petting seemed to center on her hair again. The touches to her neck were strangely erotic, more so than her human self would have considered it she was sure. Becoming a vampire created a new place to touch, and she wanted to be touched there.

“You’re like a kitten, only one that talks. Imagine a kitten demanding petting.” Willow whispered softly before moving to pet her neck. Kristin remembered her blood sire saying that too, but the touch to her pulse point stopped the comparison. As Willow’s fingered trailed over that spot on her neck purposefully Kristin wondered exactly how much Willow knew about vampires. She wondered if Willow knew before Kristin that her neck was sensitive.

The scent reached her enhanced senses and Kristin inhaled deeply. It was sweet and growing in intensity. It hinted that Willow did want sexual service, but she wasn’t asking. The petting moved to stop slowly and Kristin felt the redhead’s arm rest on her shoulder. “This movie is old, but good.” Willow spoke, but Kristin just blinked, unable to focus on the movie.

Her grr face reflected her feelings, whether it was fear, distress, pain, hunger, and now apparently desire, because Kristin could feel her face shifting, and she heard the sound it made when it did that. It wasn’t a loud sound as her forehead grew and her teeth came out, but from the slight shift of the hold on her it was loud enough.

Kristin felt her own need pulsing, hunger and desire mixing up in her head as she listened to her sire’s heart beat. She fought it, the confusion of wanting sex and blood together.

Fingers moved hesitantly to her pulse point, before the noise of the movie stopped and Kristin looked up to see the movie on pause. “Let me see you.” Willow ordered in her half asking way.

Willow had seen her demon face several times, but the soft caress to her forehead was new. Kristin watched as Willow studied her face. “You look like any other vampire.” Willow spoke softly and then stared into her eyes. “All grr and bumpy, but you aren’t like other vampires.” Kristin flinched a little as the caress moved to her fangs, gently touching them. Her body froze as she fought the instinct to bite. “Can I play with these?” Willow asked and Kristin opened her mouth just a little, leaning her head back. She was shocked at what was going on, but the feel of Willow’s fingers gently grabbing one fang and pulling just a little had her opening her mouth wider and started the ache for blood even though she’d had her fill.

Willow moved to sit up more and another hand moved to touch her other fang. Willow had to hear the groan as she pulled gently on it. “Where to these go when you loose your grr face?” Willow asked and gently pushed Kristin’s lip up while caressing up the fang towards her gums. Kristin was forced to tilt her head back more as Willow moved closer to look. “Don’t bite me.” Willow said as Kristin’s jaw started to close, and Kristin forced herself to open again as Willow held her fangs and stared. “Turn your grr off.”

………..

This was naughty, very naughty. Willow knew it and as she stared into her vampire’s yellow eyes it gave her a bit of a thrilled shiver to tug just a little more on the vampire’s fangs and watch the heat in those eyes.

All the touching was naughty, but Willow liked how it made her feel. Kristin let her do anything she wanted, and Willow would feel guilty if she didn’t know that Kristin wanted to her do it. Kristin wanted even more. It was rather empowering to be wanted like this, and the naughtiness just made it better.

Kristin seemed to have to struggle, but the grr face receded and Willow watched carefully as the fangs just pulled back, becoming shorter and the teeth remained extra fangy, but Willow could see how people might not notice it when it was even with the other teeth. The movement forced her to let go of the fangs.

Willow almost asked for Kristin to go grr again to watch the changes up close. Normally, with other vampires, it wasn’t really safe to stay and get a good look at the changes, but Kristin was safe as a kitten. Sure she might claw Willow a bit, but Kristin wasn’t going to really hurt her. The vampire had amazing restraint, and Willow really wondered if it was fueled by at least a piece of her original soul.

Willow never felt this safe near Angel, and he had his entire soul. It was a little strange that this young vampire felt so much safer. A young vampire should be more uncontrolled, Willow thought as she reached out to caress Kristin’s hair before sitting back on the couch. “You don’t have to sit on the floor you know.”

“I can stretch out.” Kristin finally spoke, and her voice was a little off. When Willow moved her legs back onto the couch Kristin returned to her spot in front of Willow on the floor.

Willow smiled a little wickedly as she turned the movie back on, she was behind Kristin’s back and she allowed herself a brief moment of congratulation as the vampire shifted a bit to become comfortable, before leaning back and exposing her throat again. There was no other clearer sign of trust from a vampire than exposing one’s neck. Willow had read that months ago in one of those books Giles had.

That book had also been a little naughty and Willow had to hide that she’d read it, but as she moved to caress over where a human would have a pulse, she felt Kristin’s shiver and felt that thrill of naughty satisfaction at causing it.

Everyone, even her friends thought she was a quiet little bookworm. Willow moved her caress more firmly over Kristin’s neck and smirked, imagining what people would say if they knew she was purposely caressing a vampire. They’d be all shocked and stare at her like she was an alien, or had been possessed. If Buffy and Xander could see her now they’d be so shocked they’d just go catatonic, well before Buffy moved to stake Kristin, or Xander went to get a video camera to film the sexy touching. No, it was definitely better they didn’t know, but the idea that Willow had such a naughty secret made her heart feel all flittery and excited.

Aside from being a vampire, Kristin was two years older than Willow and was a college girl. Willow looked down and noticed the view of Kristin’s cleavage. It was in that moment that she mentally said to herself that kinda gay wasn’t so bad, and maybe she was a breast girl, because Kristin’s pale cleavage was really capturing her interest.

…………….

Kristin was corrupting her, Willow thought with a frown as she sighed and stared at the ceiling. Normally she was all, yay, time for school girl, but today a foreign thought entered her mind when the alarm went off. The thought of just turning it off and staying home, and that wasn’t good.

When Kristin shifted on the floor after Willow had finally gotten up Willow sighed. If Kristin fully woke up Willow would just tell her to take the bed. Willow suspected that when she was in school that was where the vampire was anyhow.

In picking clothes Willow’s hand lingered over one of the new shirts she’d bought herself while shopping for Kristin, one she hadn’t worn yet because it was a little tighter. With a small smile she pulled it off the hanger.

…………..

Willow’s smile faded as she listened to Giles ask for something she hadn’t anticipated once she stepped into the library.

“Willow, could you use that contraption to determine who exactly your double may have turned? Buffy thinks she may have staked another one, but she isn’t sure. Perhaps that machine has pictures of the people who died where they were all turned. You can do that can’t you?” He was looking at a book or Willow would have been caught with a very unhappy look on her face. Sure it was possible to do that, she’d just have to find where Kristin and that first vampire were found and see what other bodies were around. It was very possible, and very dangerous for any vampire that she identified, including Kristin, if anyone ever caught a glimpse of her.

“Sure Giles, I’ll work on it during lunch.” Willow gave the answer he expected and sat her book bag heavily onto the table as she eyed the door, waiting for Xander or Buffy. Perhaps if she tweaked the information a little she could put someone who didn’t die of mysterious causes on the list, someone that didn’t rise. That would make sure she had seven on the list. Willow nodded to herself, approving the plan, but she felt a pang of guilt with the lying. This was more lying really, to cover up the big lie. This is how lying got out of hand, first you said something small, but then you had to say something else, and before you knew it everything you said was a lie.

During lunch she did the research and looking at the pictures of the people whose lives VampWillow had taken, changed, it was a bit upsetting. Her fingers worked quickly to copy names and vital information from the police database, but tears filled her eyes as she worked. Most of the people were female, and their pictures of the bodies were haunting.

Kristin’s lifeless body was found curled up in a corner, as if she’d been tossed there. That mother Buffy staked first, the one that was so mad at Willow had been bruised and beaten. The one male had been propped up against the wall. It was horrifying. Willow printed out the records along with the DMV photos of six, and then worked to find a false seventh.

After she did that she had to rush to the bathroom, afraid she’d throw up. Kristin rarely talked about her turning, but from what Willow had seen she didn’t understand why Kristin had ever tried to find her sire. The other vampires that hated her made more sense.

Willow took a few deep breaths while putting cold water on the back of her neck to try and feel better. Really she’d seen worse photos, vampires were often rather careless about the bodies, but knowing who did it and having met the results made it worse.

Willow wanted to go home and hold her vampire. Part of her wanted to know about the night Kristin was turned, but a larger part wanted to forget ever seeing what her double had done.

Willow made it back to the library once she was able to calm down, and Buffy was already there glancing at the printout’s Willow had made. “Well, I can cross off four.” Buffy looked up from the front sheet, where Willow had printed a picture of seven people from their DMV photos. Willow came closer and Buffy put the page on the desk and made a mark over four pictures. One Willow had seen in person. “Still think there are at least five Will?”

“Maybe not.” Willow studied the pictures of the two on the list that were real, both women, and both rather attractive and young, for the most part VampWillow definitely had a type. Hopefully she’d never meet them, but part of her wondered if they were like Kristin, different.

“Just as little longer and you’ll be able to patrol with me again.” Buffy smiled at her, and Willow smiled a little back. Part of her did miss patrolling with Buffy and chatting, but now that she had so many secrets it wasn’t going to be the same.

…………………

Kristin could see Willow was tense and upset, it showed in her movements and the way she spoke quietly and didn’t elaborate. She had no idea what caused it, and stories about Cordelia filled her head making her think that the cheerleader had victimized her sire again. It made her wish that Willow had told her to kill the girl instead of the spider. It would have forced her to leave the house, but it would have protected her sire.

Pets didn’t protect their sires, a part of her mind filled in. It wasn’t her role in life, but then pets didn’t have human sires. Kristin sighed as she put her mug of blood in the microwave, this time not sighing about the nasty taste she was about to endure.

“Did she hurt you very much?” Willow asked out of nowhere during dinner and Kristin looked up with a small frown trying to understand what Willow was talking about. “When she turned you?”

Kristin put her fork down and tilted her head to look at Willow, seeing the tension in her eyes, she wondered why Willow was asking now. “She knew I’d rise as a pet if I’d rise at all. I was the sixth.” Kristin spoke softly, her mind on that night and remembered fear. “I hadn’t understood her words at the time, I didn’t understand until those other vampires…” Kristin looked down and took a deep breath, pushing her reaction to that other night away. “My name amused her, said it almost sounded like Kitten.”

Willow sucked in a breath at that and Kristin looked back up at the redhead. “I don’t know what you want to know sire. Being bitten hurts, but I wasn’t abused like the ones she started with, because she never thought I’d be strong enough to challenge her. She didn’t need to make me fear her, because she knew she was condemning me to a weak existence as anyone’s toy.” Kristin’s words held her bitterness and she watched the stricken look on Willow’s face at that, which made her feel bad for letting her emotions show. But they were out there now.

“Still, I’d rather be what I am now than dead.” Kristin spoke softer. “I know I’m not the same. I can sense it in me, but I can’t find it in myself to be upset with it. I’d like to believe that I’m still sane.” Kristin felt awkward but she went on. “I don’t know that my blood sire was. I really think she was probably insane. Just becoming a vampire couldn’t cause you to become something like that. No, something happened to her and I was spared that.”

Willow looked a bit pale as she considered Kristin’s words. Kristin spoke softly, guessing that this was about being a vampire. “I’m glad that I didn’t find my blood sire, because I truly believe that even if you were turned, you’d be much better than her.” Kristin looked down at her plate. “But don’t go getting turned anytime soon okay?”

“I’m not planning on it ever.” Willow spoke up. “Nope, no VampWillow here.”

Kristin smiled just a little flirtatiously, seeing if she could get away with it. “I like Witch Willow just fine.” Willow blushed, but she didn’t scold her.

“Even when my magic goes wonky?” Willow asked, and Kristin noticed the hesitancy in the question.

“You never mean to hurt me. It makes it easier to forgive.” Kristin admitted quietly. “I told you that if you wanted to hurt me you could, but the fact that you don’t want to means a lot to me.” Kristin grinned a little. “But I am a vampire, so don’t think I’m overly fragile okay? A little hurt is okay.”

“But you’re MY vampire.” Willow said with a smile and Kristin felt a softness that part of her was disgusted with, but most of her enjoyed.

After dinner they moved to the living room, where Willow started off working on her homework while Kristin worked on the database, all to the background noise of the television. Once Willow’s homework was done she wanted to work on the database making queries, something that Kristin wasn’t all that comfortable doing. Her computer skills weren’t at Willow’s level. She just worked on inputting the data.

“Do you think you have a soul?” Willow asked after a while and Kristin looked up from her work to see Willow staring at her.

“No, I don’t.” Kristin told her quietly and noticed Willow’s slight disappointment. “I don’t need one do I?” Her words were hesitant, because she knew Willow could give her one if she wanted. “I’d prefer to not get one.”

“Why?” Willow looked baffled at that and Kristin lifted the computer up off her lap to set it on the coffee table.

“You’ve told me about Angel.” Kristin wanted to make this very clear, because if her sire didn’t understand she could hurt Kristin badly. “Now tell me if you think he’s a happy person. Does he enjoy his life?”

Willow’s mouth opened for a moment, but then is slowly closed as the redhead put more thought into it. Her words when she spoke were faster. “But he’s killed lots of people, he has a lot of guilt. You haven’t killed anyone.”

“I fantasize about pizza delivery.” Kristin felt the urge to blush, but her diet didn’t give her the ability to. “I dream about the taste of warm fresh human blood a lot. Almost as much as a teenage boys daydream about sex. What would that do to me to feel guilty about my desires?”

“You, you fantasize?” Willow blushed a little, but she also had her eyebrows moving a little closer together. “All the time?”

“I don’t really have anything from my human life to compare it to so you could understand.” Kristin sighed. “Perhaps a really nice orgasm, but its not the same, just equally nice.” Willow’s blush increased, and Kristin suspected that her explanation didn’t clarify anything for the redhead. “Sire.” Kristin’s voice was softer, “I could help you understand.”

“I don’t want to be a vampire.” Willow said, misunderstanding and looking puzzled.

“And I would never turn you even if you did.” Kristin admitted, staring at Willow, who now looked surprised Kristin would deny her anything. “If you wanted to be turned you’d need a real vampire to do it. I wouldn’t condemn you like my blood sire did me. You’d be strong with someone else, but with me you’d be lucky to rise at all.” Kristin shook her head, “No, I mean I could show you something comparable, something special.” Kristin didn’t speak too plainly, not wanting the blush the redhead had to become too much worse, because it would make her hungry again and all she had was pig’s blood.

Her efforts to keep Willow from blushing too much didn’t work, as a moment later Willow figured out what she was offering. “Um I…” Willow stammered, “I’m fine, thanks.” Kristin just sighed at her human sire’s restraint. While Kristin preferred Willow human, a little more vampire in her sexuality would do her good.

“The offer is always standing.” Kristin told her and then moved to pick up the laptop again.

“I don’t think a soul would make you miserable.” Willow finally spoke after Kristin entered a full record in the database. “But I won’t risk it.” Kristin felt a huge sense of relief that her sire wasn’t going to push that. “The happiness clause, maybe that’s why Angel is so gloomy. Perhaps he’s afraid a minor happy would banish his soul.”

“Or maybe he fantasizes about pizza delivery too.” Kristin offered and saw that it disturbed Willow to think that of him. Why him and not so much her?

The loud knock on the front door was a shock and Kristin’s eyes widened along with Willow as it sounded again. “Hey Wills, Pizza delivery.” A voice called out and Kristin felt her face shift.

“I did not order pizza, and that’s Xander. No tasting missy.” Willow ordered and stood up. Willow looked around the living room and Kristin just waited to be told what to do. That proved a bad idea as the door opened.

“Willow?” Xander’s voice called into the house.

“Just a minute Xander.” Willow looked a bit panicked, and the only way out of the living room would take Kristin passed the opened front door. He didn’t listen and Kristin stared up from her space on the couch, having just barely managed to change her face back, at a surprised looking boy with a pizza box in his hands. Delivery and she couldn’t have a taste, Kristin sighed heavily.

…………

This was not good, this was so not good, Willow thought as she watched Xander stare at Kristin. “Wills, there’s a woman on your couch.” Xander spoke and Willow stared into Kristin’s eyes from behind him.

Kristin stared back a moment and nodded as if she heard Willow’s silent plea to act human. Kristin was always just a shade off, not quite human. Xander wasn’t very observant, especially if the woman was as pretty as Kristin, but he just might notice if Kristin’s grr face came out casually like it often did.

Willow’s mind traveled to that, thinking of all the different reasons a grr face came out. It wasn’t just to attack like they’d all assumed, because Kristin’s grr face had never come with aggression or anger. Hell, Kristin never got angry with Willow, not the mad yelling type of anger.

“I’m Kristin.” Kristin introduced herself and Willow did her best to not wring her hands.

“Yes, this is Kristin. She’s my friend.” Willow spoke quickly and noticed the demon books on the table and the computer still on Kristin’s lap. “She’s ah, she’s visiting.” Willow finished lamely.

“Well, I’m Xander, Will’s best friend.” Xander smiled too big and Willow just sighed as she watched him start to try and flirt with her vampire. “I’ve brought pizza.”

“We’ve already had dinner.” Kristin spoke just a little coolly and Willow found herself surprised at how Kristin was sitting, acting. It wasn’t the normal way she acted. Kristin looked just a tad irritated at him, and she wasn’t glancing at Willow to check on how she was responding to make sure it was right. Willow stared at her vampire just a little while Xander glanced back at her.

“What? No room for pizza? There is always room for pizza.” He smiled at Willow as his eyes screamed a question. It was more like a statement really, Willow thought and she just shook her head as Xander set his sights on yet another inhuman woman. She knew him well enough to know he’d spend all the time he was here trying to get a date with Kristin and ignoring her now.

After about twenty minutes of Xander trying hard to pull Kristin into conversation and ignoring Willow, Willow saw Kristin grit her teeth and look away from Xander. From Willow’s seat she saw Kristin’s grr face start and then slowly and painfully looking, recede again. Her vampire was getting mad, this wasn’t good.

Willow looked with wide eyes to make sure that Xander didn’t see, but he was busy glancing at some commercial with women in bikinis at the time. That was lucky.

“Well for fun in college, let’s see.” Kristin started to speak and her voice was sarcastic sounding and that wasn’t normal. It took Willow a moment to realize that Kristin was answering the latest of Xander’s stupid questions. “Well I did join the Lesbians for Liberty group, where we usually got together over dinner and talked about gay marriage, gays in the military, and other issues. Mostly we just got pissed, it wasn’t all that fun. Then I joined the Gay and Lesbian Students Association, but the gay boys were outnumbering the lesbians by too much and I couldn’t find a date too often so I quit. Then I just started spending more time in the Women’s Center, because, well, few men went there, so I didn’t have to constantly tell the boys I wasn’t interested, wasn’t going to be interesting, and I liked pussy a hell of a lot.”

Willow’s jaw dropped as she watched Kristin stand up and grab the laptop and the book she was working out of. It was a testament to Xander’s obliviousness that he still hadn’t noticed it was a demonology book. “I’m going to work upstairs,” The word Sire almost made it to Kristin’s lips, but Willow watched her vampire catch herself. “You two have fun.”

“Uh,” Xander was still blinking in shock and Willow just nodded so that her vampire could go, because Kristin was standing still and waiting to be dismissed. It was a good idea to separate those two now before it got worse.

Once Kristin was at the doorway she turned to Willow and Willow watched the vampire’s expression change to apologetic. Kristin mouthed the words ‘I’m sorry Sire.’ Willow just smiled at Kristin to let her know that Willow understood. Kristin had to get away, had to embarrass Xander so he wouldn’t follow. Willow had been irritated at Xander as well, but the big difference was she didn’t get a grr face when she was irritated. Kristin did.

“Lesbian?” Xander’s voice was higher and shocked as he glanced where Kristin had been and then at Willow.

Willow wondered if Kristin could smell the deep blush Willow had as she looked at her oldest and best friend. Kristin had finally answered the question Willow had never asked, Kristin was gay before being turned; apparently very gay. “Will, she’s a lesbian?” Xander’s voice became a half whisper, but a vampire standing on the stairs probably could still hear him.

“Apparently so.” Willow glanced toward the front door entry way and her mind was on the vampire up the stairs. “Well, maybe she isn’t, but well, maybe she meant she likes cats.” Willow stammered, embarrassed as the words that were said came back to her while Willow wasn’t scared Kristin’s face would go grr. It was like she was hearing it all for the first time and Kristin had said some really incriminating things. Did Kristin used to date a lot? Willow wondered, but pushed that thought aside as Xander stared at her.

“She’s a lesbian?” Xander’s question was a bit more statement like and Willow watched the sick grin growing across his face, knowing that equally sick fantasies were going on in his mind.

The night didn’t get any better after that. Sure Xander noticed she was in the room and was talking with her, but all he was doing was asking about Kristin.

Willow felt like her own version of a grr face was close to coming out as she listened to questions like, ‘have you seen her kiss a woman?’, to ‘does she ever, you know, hit on you’, and even questions like ‘where did you meet her? Was it a gay club?’ and ‘Are you a lesbian Wills, cause that would be really cool?’

He was hardly pausing for answers so Willow didn’t have to lie about anything, but then he appeared to finally look at her and that sick perverted expression made her disgusted with her best friend. “Can I watch if you kiss her?” It was the last straw. Willow glared at him and stood up forcefully.

“Get out!” Willow spoke loudly, to get past the rush of his hormones so he’d hear her. “You’re just, such a boy! Get out! We are not here for you to get cheap thrills off of buddy, no sirrie. You just take your hormones and leave.”

He looked shocked, but Willow pointed emphatically at the door. Once he started in that direction Willow felt a bit of fear. “Please don’t tell anyone about Kristin.” She asked and stared into Xander’s eyes. His grin was gone.

“Course not Wills.” He told her gently. “But no one is going to freak out on you. I mean you’re friends with a vampire slayer, what’s being a lesbian after that?” Willow blushed as Xander leaned in and gave her a small peck on the cheek. “She’s hot Wills, good job.” He whispered and then gave her a goofy grin and headed for the door.

Once he closed the door Willow let out a breath and leaned against the back of the couch. Her eyes widened as she realized she had let him believe that her and Kristin were a couple. Sure it explained her wanting to keep secrets now, but she came out of the closet to her oldest friend and she wasn’t even sure if she was gay yet.

Willow moved around, putting away the leftover pizza, cleaning up the plates. It wasn’t until she found herself fluffy the pillows that she realized she was stalling and she should just go upstairs.

Kristin’s grr face was out and the vampire was looking very unhappy. “He totally disrespected you.” Kristin started to vent and Willow’s eyes widened as she watched her vampire with an angry face for once. It was a bit scary, but Kristin’s eyes saddened as she looked at Willow. “You’re my Sire, don’t you understand? He disrespected you.”

“He was just being a boy.” Willow spoke softly, but she could see Kristin was really upset about this. “He always forgets I’m around when a pretty girl shows up.” Willow admitted a little sadly, because it always happened.

Kristin growled and Willow was a little afraid for her laptop as Kristin picked it up off of her lap, but Kristin put it down on the bed without breaking it. “YOU are a pretty girl, and he’s fucking blind.” Kristin turned to glare out the window and Willow let herself smile softly at being called pretty. “But I’m yours and he just came into your house uninvited and started to chat me up like you weren’t right there.”

Willow sighed and moved a little closer to her cagey pet. She gently placed a hand on Kristin’s shoulder. “We aren’t vampires Kristin. I can’t throw a huge Sire fit because someone looks at my pet. It just doesn’t work that way.” Willow let her hand caress the shoulder under it, feeling the tension and strength in the muscles under her hand. “He’s my friend, and as a boy he’s rather oblivious at times, but I forgive him because he’s my oldest friend.”

Kristin turned to look at her and Willow watched as the vampire’s grr face faded. Kristin sighed and looked down in deference. “I’m sorry I couldn’t hold my temper better in front of your oldest friend Sire. I embarrassed you.” Willow’s eyes widened as Kristin fell to her knees.

“No, you did what I wanted you to do. You got out of the situation if you couldn’t handle it. I know you had to have wanted to bite him after all of that, and you didn’t.” Willow spoke gently, caressing Kristin’s hair. She noticed how soft it was and caressed it again just to feel it. “You don’t, um,” Willow stared at her pet and Kristin finally looked up at her. “You don’t have to kneel to me.” Willow finished, but then she found herself staring at the intensity in Kristin’s eyes. Kristin stood vampire gracefully, but maintained her eye contact and Willow couldn’t look away. Willow’s heart beat a bit faster and she swore her breathing was as loud as a freight train as Kristin came to stand very close to her, still staring into her eyes.

“He um, he thinks we’re girlfriends of the overly friendly variety.” Willow whispered, trying to interrupt the strange tension, but it didn’t work.

“I’m sorry Sire,” Kristin finally stepped backwards, giving Willow some space. Willow felt like she could breathe again, even though she had been breathing. “I didn’t think what saying I was a lesbian would do to you.”

“It’s perfect.” Willow reassured Kristin gently and moved a hand up to caress her hair while giving her a shy smile. “Sure I’m going to hear a hundred gay jokes now, but he is my best friend and I asked him not to tell anyone about you. He thinks I’m not ready to come out of the closet, he doesn’t think I have a vampire living with me. So that worked.”

“Okay.” Kristin muttered and Willow pulled her hand away from Kristin once Willow realized she was still petting her.

…………………………